


Candy Land Ain't Got Nothing On This

by stevergrsno (noxlunate)



Series: Happy Steve Bingo Fills [3]
Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Board Games, Cameos, Candy Land, Crack, Established Relationship, Happy Steve Bingo, Humor, M/M, Monopoly (Board Game), Questionable Craft Projects, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 14:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15950990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxlunate/pseuds/stevergrsno
Summary: A half hour later Natasha is folded up on the floor, viciously defending the Gumdrop Pass as Candy Land has somehow merged into a Risk-like game, the four of them carving out territories as Cassie makes up a very detailed set of rules for them to follow.“Rogers,” Bucky says viciously, waving a metal finger at Steve, “If you even think about moving on the Lollipop Woods I willend you."Aka ten year old Cassie Lang is very much responsible for the chaos that is Avengers Game Night.





	Candy Land Ain't Got Nothing On This

**Author's Note:**

> For the "board games" square in my Happy Steve Bingo! 
> 
> Technically it's after midnight and so I'm NOT actually posting two things in one day, but also this sprang up out of nowhere and I wrote it and edited it in all of four hours and I love it so hopefully you all love it too.

Team Game Night starts, interestingly enough, because of Cassie Lang.

 

Scott Lang shows up at 5:38 on a Tuesday morning and says “Can you do me a favor?” and Steve, well, he’s not good at denying anything to someone who had his back in a super hero civil war.

It’s just the kind of thing he can’t do.

Which is how he ends up with ten year old Cassandra Lang sitting on his couch, flipping through Steve’s cable package and then navigating into the streaming services that the Normal Young People around him have set up for him, watching things that he’s _sure_ aren’t appropriate for a child.

“Are you… Supposed to be watching-” He frowns, stares at the tv screen for awhile and then finishes, “...whatever this is?”

There’s a man with a chainsaw instead of an arm running around on screen. Steve prays to God that Bucky doesn’t see this and get any ideas.

“Nope.” Cassie says, her eyes glued to the screen.

“Right. Okay. Good to know.” Steve responds, unsure how anyone seems to think he can handle _children._

 

When Bucky enters the apartment by way of window Steve breathes a sigh of relief. Bucky will know how to deal with children. Bucky had three sisters,. Sure, he only seems to remember about half of anything these days, but Steve’s going to hope that half includes how to handle a ten year old.

Bucky stops in the living room, stares at Cassie, turns to stare at Steve, stares back at Cassie, then finally lands on Steve.

“Did I forget something again or is the kid new?”

“Kid’s new.” Steve says, pretty sure Bucky hadn’t been entirely serious about forgetting something, but also wanting to make sure he has to deal with confusion as little as possible. “Scott needed a favor, so we’re babysitting Cassie for a couple days.”

“How the fuck do people keep trusting you to handle children?”

“I’ve literally been asking myself the same question since she got here.” Steve’s mostly mastered how to handle teenagers, and he’s a little less awkward with actual infants, but Cassie’s somewhere in the middle and Steve’s got no idea what to do with that.

Bucky, however, seems to have no such issues as he vaults over the back of the couch and lands in the seat next to Cassie. Cassie seems utterly unfazed.

“We’ve got board games.” Bucky says, eyeing the tv and the parade of zombies across it distastefully.

“I like board games.” Cassie says, eyes finally drawn from the tv.

 

“It’ll be more fun if we have another person.” Cassie says as she sets a stack of boxes on the coffee table, and Bucky pulls out his phone and speaks rapidly into it in Russian.

 

A half hour later Natasha is folded up on the floor, viciously defending the Gumdrop Pass as Candy Land has somehow merged into a Risk-like game, the four of them carving out territories as Cassie makes up a very detailed set of rules for them to follow.   

“Rogers,” Bucky says viciously, waving a metal finger at Steve, “If you even think about moving on the Lollipop Woods I will _end you._ Worse than that, I will end your sex life.”

“ _Bucky,_ there’s a _child.”_ Steve says, scandalized.

“I know what sex is.” Cassie says as she mercilessly moves her troops in on Steve’s in the Licorice Forrest. Steve sighs as his blue Sorry pieces are replaced with Cassie’s red.

“Let’s pretend no one said the word sex, huh? Let’s just focus on how badly we’re all beating Steve, the _master strategist_.” Bucky says, shooting Steve a smug smile.

“I hate this game.” Steve says, slumping down into his seat.

“ _I love this game.”_ Cassie says with all the chaotic energy that Steve has only ever seen in children and Wade Wilson.

 

Two weeks later Scott Lang calls again.

“Hey man, Cassie was just wondering- Wait, Cassie, come on, if you want me to ask you gotta let me ask. Fine, fine, you do it, Peanut.”

There’s sounds of shuffling, and then the familiar voice of ten year old Cassie Lang is heard through Steve’s phone, “I was wondering if you and Mister James might want to come over for dinner and to play LIFE.”

Steve’s phone is being snatched up by a metal hand before Steve can get a word out.

“We’d love to sweetheart.” Bucky says into the phone and Steve fights a smile at how _easy_ Bucky sounds. “Five oclock? Uh-huh. Yep. Uh-huh. Okay, it’s a date.”

“A date, huh?” Steve asks once Bucky’s hung up the phone and dropped Steve’s phone into his lap, “Should I be jealous?”

“Oh yeah, Rogers, I’ve got a new best girl.” Bucky says, light and easy and sounding so stupidly content that it makes Steve feel like he could fill right up with happiness until he’s bigger than the biggest skyscraper in Manhattan.

“Everyone warned me you were fickle. I shoulda listened. The first new thing in this century and you’re moving on.” Steve says, shaking his head and looking appropriately sad.

“You’re an idiot Rogers.” Bucky says, sliding over the back of the couch and into the spot next to Steve. Once he’s there he makes an exaggerated yawning motion and drops his arm over Steve’s shoulders, looking far too pleased with himself.

“Jokes on you, you’ve been dating an idiot since 1937.”

“That’s the real tragedy of my life, honestly.” Bucky says, entirely straight faced until Steve shoves at his ribs and Bucky shuts up any retort Steve might come up with with a kiss.

 

They show up at Scott’s house with a kugel that Scott blinks at for a moment.

“I told you you didn’t have to bring anything.” Scott says, even as he takes the casserole dish that Bucky is shoving in his hands.

“I was brainwashed for 70 years, I can bring kugel if I want to.” Bucky says as he breezes past Scott and catches a cannon ball masquerading as Cassie Lang.

“Does he use the brainwashing excuse a lot?” Scott asks, poking at the top of the kugel like it might bite him.

“So, _so_ much.” Steve says with what he’s sure is the tone of the truly, and _deeply_ tired.

 

Steve shouldn’t have expected a normal board game experience when it came to Cassie Lang. Especially not when she had the full endorsement of 250 pounds of metal and charming smiles in the shape of Bucky Barnes.

What Steve gets, instead of a normal game of LIFE, is an hour spent hunched over the Lang’s kitchen table with a set of colored pencils, creating custom game cards under the firm direction of Bucky and Cassie.

“No no, Steve, she said _purple_ there, not blue.”

“This is a dictatorship.” Steve gripes, setting down the really lovely blue pencil and picking up a purple one. Cassie has freakishly nice art supplies. Steve’s almost a little jealous of a ten year old.

Steve reminds himself very firmly that he has a bank account that could easily cover the cost of Steve buying a whole damn art store so it’s his own damn fault a ten year old has nicer stuff than him.

“Damn right it is. Call us Supreme Leaders James and Cassandra.” Bucky says as he prints instructions on a tiny scrap of construction paper in neat handwriting and hands it to Steve to receive it’s accompanying artwork.

“Being a Supreme Leader sounds like a lot of work.” Cassie says, focusing intently on where she’s coloring in a game card of her own.

“Kid’s probably right,” Steve says agreeably, catching Bucky’s ankle with his own under the table, “Clearly she’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

 

Steve is forced to admit that Cassie and Bucky’s strange version of LIFE is a lot more fun than the normal version. Sure, he and Scott suffer a humiliating defeat at the hands of Bucky, but Steve swears he’ll have his revenge. Besides, when Steve gets to see Bucky smile and accept a high five from Cassie who is already chattering away about the next game they’re going to play, it’s too hard to feel anything but content.

 

After the whole All Out War Over The Superhero Registration _thing_ things have seemed to settle into something vaguely approaching normalcy. Steve even willingly sets foot in Stark Tower these days, and he and Tony can be in a room for more than six minutes without wanting to rip out each other’s throats.

It’s progress.

It’s apparently enough progress that all Avengers, past and current are invited to the Stark Christmas party.

Scott, as usual, has brought along Cassie as his plus one.

Carol says it’s _cute._ Carol seems to think it’s even cuter when Cassie asks if Carol can squash a human head like it’s _a bug._

The party dwindles down until it’s mostly just superheroes, and somehow they end up gathered around a Monopoly board. No one’s been willing to play Monopoly with Tony Stark since shortly after The Battle Of New York, but no one’s been faced with the face of Scott Lang’s only daughter either.

They play by the rules. Mostly. Sort of. _A little._

The highlight of the game is, of course, when Steve, Bucky, and Peter team up to bankrupt Tony.

Steve will never forget the hopeless look on Stark’s face. He thinks he might genuinely treasure it forever and remember it fondly when he can’t sleep at night.

“Yeah right,” Bucky says later, when Steve voices this very thought while they’re climbing into bed and Bucky’s shoving at his pillows until they’re perfect and Steve’s wiggling until he can drape himself over Bucky like a super soldier blanket. “Like you won’t wake my ass up claiming that handjobs are the cure to insomnia next time you can’t sleep.”

“Listen, the two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.” Steve argues, definitely not squeaking whatsoever when Bucky pinches at Steve’s side. It’s just an involuntary, slightly _squeak like_ noise.

“Like hell they aren’t. You better not be picturing Stark Junior’s face when I’m jerking you off Rogers. I don’t care how traumatized he looked and how much joy that fills you with.”  

Bucky pinches him again, apparently to emphasize his point, and Steve licks a stripe right across his collarbone then bites it in retaliation.

“Trust me, the only thing I want to see when you jerk me off is your ugly mug.” Steve says and even he’s a little disgusted by how earnest he sounds.

“Damn right it is.” Bucky agrees and sets about demonstrating just how true Steve’s words had been.

 

Game night becomes something of _a thing_ after. It’s never, ever, the exact same group of people, not when the number of people on Earth, let alone in _New York_ changes on the regular, and not when the roster is in constant flux as new Avengers emerge and others shuffle off into retirement.

It’s a good thing though. Steve insists it’s team building. Bucky insists that giving people the opportunity to battle it out to the point of physical violence over children’s games is essential stress relief.  Natasha says that both of them are making the exact same point.

Steve does not trust the woman who has threatened him with stabbing no less than seven times over Monopoly, but it’s possible she has a point.

 

Somewhere along the years they create trophies. They start out because Wanda takes some sort of crafting class to help calm her nerves and find her zen or whatever it is that her and Bruce insist is important.

Steve, for his part, has never quite understood that kind of thing. Bucky says it’s because Steve is fueled by the opposite of zen. Steve is, according to him, fueled by the white hot rage of a formerly scrawny son of a bitch and zen would just mess with his ability to throw himself out of planes and directly at the people trying to destroy the world.

Nevertheless, he does sit down with Wanda and her lumpy paper mache trophy to paint the damn thing. They go a little Jackson Pollock on it, flinging every color of paint that Steve has at it and then painting the base a nice shiny black so that Steve can carefully scrawl “#1 AVENGER” on it in bright white.

The trophy becomes a prized possession, and when, a year or so later, it’s suggested that they spring for a real one the idea is met with severe disdain. They like their lumpy, hand painted trophy thank you very much, and no new hot shot Avenger is going to convince them to replace it with something shiny and unfamiliar.  

 

Steve once wins the trophy for three consecutive months, but then Carol comes into town and steals the title in a crushing defeat of Clue. Steve is not smug at all when Bucky beats her the very next week in Tenzi and gloats about it for three days straight.

 

The Young Avengers are, well, _young._

They’re _too young._

They are also horrible, dirty, no good cheats who resurrect Candy Land Risk after years of Steve thinking he’d never experience that level of defeat again and then proceed to fleece Steve out of an obscene amount of money.

Kate Bishop has a _mean_ pokerface and Steve has never seen Clint look so proud.

The green kid and the one who looks almost _freakishly_ like Wanda team up against the rest of them and nearly sweep the board. Steve’s sure the only reason they don’t is that they’re too distracted with holding hands under the table and pretending they’re being discreet about it.

Steve’s sure that he and Bucky were a lot more subtle when they were that age.

(They absolutely were not.)

“ _T_ _here can only be one.”_ Bucky says ominously as he looks between Steve and America, both stubbornly refusing to change out of their patriotic t-shirts.

“Aren’t teenagers supposed to grow out of board games?” Steve asks in an effort to ignore Bucky’s quiet humming of the _Jaws_ theme as he looks between Steve and America.

“Uncle Steve, there is no growing out of board games.” Cassie says with a shake of her head as she resets up the Candy Land board after Kate had kicked it across the room in frustration and Bucky switches to the Imperial March.

  


“I found a game you can win, Rogers.” Bucky says a few weeks later as he throws a piece of brightly colored cardboard and clear plastic at Steve’s head.

 **_THE ULTIMATE GAY SEX DICE_ ** is printed across the cardboard in bold, rainbow letters and Steve would groan and tell Bucky he’s the goddamn _worst,_ but well, this really _is_ a game that Steve can always win.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to scream about things with me, come visit me on the [tumblr dot com](http://stevergrsno.tumblr.com/post/177933669431/candy-land-aint-got-nothing-on-this-stevergrsno)


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